We got Matcha and Mochi when they were still drinking milk. We bottlefed them, taught them how to use the litterbox, taught them how to play. The two of them have grown up knowing only us. They follow us to every room. They cuddle together on our laps. They cry out for us when we are in a room they cannot enter. Imagining euthanizing them makes me want to vomit. I will start crying no matter where I am if I begin thinking of them, old and frail, laying on the table of a vet's office while I sign yet another form confirming they won't leave the building alive. Would we cremate or take their lifeless bodies home? If we bury them, do they share a box or not? Will they lay with our dog and my childhood pets? Will we have moved too far away? It will hurt me. It will fucking hurt me.